


PINK FEATHER BOAS AND CIGARETTES

by HeavenlyMess



Category: Death Spells (Band), Frank Iero and the Future Violents (Band), Frank Iero and the Patience, Gerard Way and the Hormones, LeATHERMØUTH, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Frerard, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:35:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25094707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavenlyMess/pseuds/HeavenlyMess
Summary: frank pole dancer au (originally a oneshot)
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

Friday night.

It was crowded as usual at the Poison club. Everyone there to see Frank, also known as Destroya, their biggest star. Men and women alike would come to see him every week, and some of them were already requesting a private with him.

In the meantime, Frank was in the back getting ready, putting on his glittery stilettos that made him look like he was he was six feet tall. 'Ready, honey?' Richie, one of the staff guys, asked.

Frank nodded, fixed his hair, and waited for his cue.

'And now, ladies and gentleman,' the emcee announced. 'The star y'all came here to see, and Poison's favorite, Destroya!!!'

The lights went dim, and as the first notes of Danzig's _She Rides,_ Destroya came out, wearing nothing but black lace panties and a white crop top, showing most of his tattooed body, his arms up as he strode the catwalk, sway his hips. When he reached the pole, he grinded his ass against it, smirking at the man right in front of him, and winked at a cute guy.

He slid up and down the pole, his legs spread, and then span around it, and did all kinds of tricks. He knew what he was doing. He had everyone drooling over him, throwing him cash, yelling all kinds of nasty stuff. He hated that part, but he knew that he was pretty, and if that was going to pay the bills, he'd keep doing it.

Besides, he enjoyed performing.

At some point, he lost the shirt, and he was showing off his chest, and his sweaty hair was on his face, and he was on his hands and knees, crawling to the other side of the stage.

He felt a hand touching his ass, but he did his best to ignore it. Sometimes he wondered if it was all worth it. The shit he got from customers, how disrespectful they were, or having to fuck old men, for all the money he got every night and having the chance to do what he liked.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


'Get to work, boy! You'll get fired and it's only your second day!' someone yelled at Gerard, who'd been looking, not staring, at Destroya performing for the past couple minutes. He was so fucking good, Gerard thought. His legs!

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to get a job at a strip club, knowing Gerard would be looking at attractive men all the time. How was he supposed to hide his boner?

At the end, his boss decided to send him to the back to do the dishes, which Gerard knew it was for his own sake too.

But whenever he worked front of the house on weekends, his favorite thing was Destroya's show. He would be wearing a goth dress sometime, or shorty jean shorts and boots, fishnet leggings and crop tops. Gerard liked his style, but also he was fucking hot!

Dating other employees, especially the artists as they called them, was strictly prohibited. Not that Destroya would ever notice Gerard. He was only a chubby boy, too shy for his own good. He didn't have a chance.

He went out for a cigarette before he had to start closing, when he heard the back door opening, and two people coming out. It took him a minute to realize one of them was the one and only Destroya, and only because he was wearing the same outfit. But he had never seen him this close. And he was way shorter than he thought. 'Be safe, hun,' he heard Destroya say to the man as he walked away. Then he turned around, walked towards the door to get back in, when he spotted Gerard. 'Hey, baby,' he said. Gerard didn't know how to react. Destroya. Was talking to him!

He tried not to freak out and smiled.

'Having a good night?' Frank said, trying to sound cheerful, but Gerard could hear how tired he was. So he just nodded, and offered him a cigarette. Frank could never say no to cigarettes, especially not after a night like this. So he took one, and let Gerard light it. 'Thanks, babe.'

Gerard liked that, but tried not to be obvious. He looked at him, and noticed his red eyeshadow and what was left of his eyeliner. He was gorgeous. 'Destroya, right?' he asked, not sure how. But he needed to make conversation.

'You can call me Frank.'

'I'm Gerard.'

'Nice to meet you, Gerard. You work here?' Frank asked, even though it was obvious since he was wearing a shirt that had Poison sewn on the pocket.

Gerard nodded, a shy smile on his face. 'I'm a bartender. This is my second week.'

'Wow! You like it?'

'The pay is good. Great tips.' _I get to see you_ , he thought.

'Well, welcome to Poison.'

Gerard couldn't stop watching Frank, seeing him blowing smoke, fixing his hair. He was so hypnotizing. No wonder why everyone came just to see him. But there was so much more that people didn't get to see, and he loved that too. 'You look shorter in person,' he said.

'Those stilettos, man.' Frank seemed to be freezing, but he didn't make an attempt to leave or anything, so without even thinking about it, Gerard took off his jacket, and put it on Frank's shoulders. 'Thank you,' he said, giving him a tender look that couldn't quite believe the nice gesture he just had.

'It's nothing. You seem cold.'

And then, Frank leaned closer and kissed Gerard's cheek. 'You're sweet,' he said. 'No one had really cared this much for me.'

'That's a shame.'

They stood there, not really saying anything, having yet another cigarette, before Gerard had to go back in, and Frank followed him inside, though they went their separate ways once inside.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The following Friday, when Frank made it to his dressing room, he found a red rose on his vanity. There was no note, and this was definitely not the first time it had happened. Lots of men sent gift to Frank every day, hoping they'd get lucky, but he wasn't into that. So he went on with his day and got ready.

For the next two weeks, every night, he found a red rose. One time next to a note that read _I hope this makes you smile J_

It did.

That night, when the club closed and everyone was going home, Frank walked out and found Gerard standing in the sidewalk, almost as if he was waiting for him. With a red rose.

That made Frank smile. Of course it was him, why didn't he think about it?

'Hey,' he said.

'Hey,' Gerard replied, with a nervous smile as he approached him. 'This is for you.'

'Thank you.' He took it, and looked at it. 'So it was you? This whole time?'

Gerard nodded.

There was a long silence, as they got closer to each other. 'You look different,' Gerard said, noticing the lack of makeup, glitter, and his jeans and t-shirt that made him look like a normal guy.

'Well, believe it or not I don't always walk on the streets wearing panties and fishnets. Sorry to disappoint you.'

'You don't. You still look pretty as hell.'

'You know? No one has ever called me pretty when I'm wearing this.'

'Maybe I should do it more often.'

'I wouldn't mind.' They smiled at each other, and then Frank closed the gap between them and kissed him. It was pure and innocent, almost like a first kiss. Which Frank welcomed. In this business, everything was about lust, and he craved for something like this.

It was as if Gerard knew what he needed.

'You wanna go for a walk?' Gerard asked, and Frank answered with a nod. They walked around the block, and since everything was closed, they stopped at a convenience store and bought cheap coffee, then walked to the park on Main Street and sat to drink it and get to know each other.

They held hand, almost like a magnet was pulling them together.

They talked about life. Gerard had just graduated college, and didn't know what to do with his life. He asked Frank how did he start pole dancing. 'Well,' Frank started. 'My friend convinced me to go with her to pole dancing class during college, and the instructor told me I had some skills, and got me my first job. Been doing it since.'

'You like it?'

'I like performing. Dancing, owning the stage. But I hate how men treat me.'

'That sucks.'

'It does.'

'You deserve better.' And then, they were kissing again. Frank was short of breath by the kiss. It was too good to be true, and he didn't want to wake up from the dream.

Soon after, Gerard walked him home. 'It was nice,' Frank said. 'Thanks for making me feel like I'm worth a shit.'

'Well, you are.' Gerard kissed him goodnight. 'Wanna go for coffee tomorrow?'

'I'd like that,' Frank said, and stepped inside is apartment building, before turning around. 'Good night, babe.'


	2. Chapter 2

Frank didn’t know what to wear.

He imagined Gerard would be expecting him to wear something more feminine, but he wasn’t sure if that was him. He was – boring.

Outside work, Frank didn’t have anything going on for him. He just slept all morning, and played with his dog. He used to play guitar, but it had been a while. He didn’t even own one anymore.

He barely saw his friends anymore, afraid they’d make fun of his lifestyle. He only had Jamia, his roommate and best friend, and the one who had invited him to that one pole dancing class.

‘So – he’s a coworker?’ she asked, looking through his closet to find something.

‘Yeah – well, he’s a bartender.’

‘Probably a douche, then.’ She had a lot of experience with those.

‘No, you wouldn’t understand.’ Frank blushed just thinking about Gerard. ‘He’s so sweet! Like the most adorable guy I’ve ever met.’

‘Huh? You’ve never talked about anyone like that.’ She walked out of the closet, holding a button up shirt. ‘But again, you’ve never been into guys like him.’

Frank shook his head. He usually went for guys with a more dominant personality. ‘He’s different. He likes to take care of me, but not like that. Like he let me used his jacket when it was cold, and he sent me flowers. And he called me pretty.’

‘Oh my – Frank, I had never seen you like this! This is so adorable!’

Frank hid his face with his hands. He hadn’t had a crushed in a while, his last boyfriends were different. ‘I’m stupid, I know.’

‘No, you really like the guy, and I can’t blame you, he sounds like a sweetheart.’

Jamia handed him the shirt and a pair of skinny jeans, and left him to change. ‘It’s such a shame you’re a raging homosexual cause I would so fuck you right now,’ she said.

‘Thanks?’

There was a long silence while she fixed his shirt. She’d done this for the longest time, helping him to get ready for a date, though this time it felt different. ‘I don’t know,’ Frank said. ‘I feel like I’m going to disappoint him. He’s used to see me in panties and stilettos. I’m sure that’s the version of me he likes.’

‘Are you saying you want to try that for the date?’

‘No, I’m just – I don’t know. I look plain compared to that version of me.’

‘Would you wear makeup?’

Frank didn’t reply nor nod or shook his head. He just gave Jamia a look that said _maybe?_

So Jamia helped him apply eyeliner. Nothing too dramatic, it was nine in the morning. Somehow it made Frank feel more comfortable.

He let Jamia fix his hair, so it looked messy, and then he was ready.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

‘He’s here, he’s here,’ he started to freak out.

‘Relax, you want me to open the door for you?’

‘I’m fine, I’ll do it.’ He took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Gerard was standing there, wearing a leather jacket, his hair on his face, and bouquet of flowers. ‘I –,’ he said, but then, he stopped.

Frank didn’t even know how to breathe.

‘You look –,’ Gerard started. ‘Beautiful.’

Frank had never been called beautiful. ‘Thank you,’ he said blushing. Gerard walked in and pressed a kiss on Frank’s lips, to then give him the flowers. ‘Thank you. They’re so pretty.’

‘Not as much as you, but –’

Frank was blushing again, and he had butterflies in his stomach. ‘You are so fucking sweet.’

‘It’s the truth.’ Gerard kissed his forehead. ‘So – shall we?’

***

They walked hand in hand to a café two blocks away.

Gerard had never been there, but seeing as it was close and neither of them had a car, he hoped it was good.

‘Can I have the veggie breakfast muffin, please?’ Frank asked. ‘And a large caramel latte with coconut milk.’

Gerard looked at the menu, not sure where to start. ‘Can I have the same thing, please?’ The server quickly wrote down everything and promised to be back with their drinks soon. ‘You’ve been here before?’

‘All the time, I live two blocks away and they have veggie options.’

‘Fuck! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to bring you somewhere you visit often –’

‘What? No! I don’t care about that! Besides, this is the first time I’m here with you, so that’s what matters.’ Frank smiled at him, reaching for his hand.

‘The first time? So there will be more?’

‘I mean, it depends on how good this one goes, but so far, I’d say there will be many more.’

Gerard ended up loving the muffin, and then asked for dessert. Black cherry cheesecake.

They talked about their life and their favorite rom-coms. ‘What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?’ Frank asked.

‘Chocolate.’

‘For real? That’s so basic.’

‘I’m plain, what can I say?’ They smiled at each other. ‘Yours?’

‘Butter pecan.’

‘What?! You can’t be serious!’

‘But it’s so good.’ Frank told him about his tattoos, and Gerard told him ghost stories. When they finished, Gerard paid, despite Frank offering to. Then they kept walking around the neighborhood, until it started raining.

Gerard pulled him by the arm as they ran to the nearest building, looking for shelter. But Frank stopped him and leaned in for a kiss.

It was wet and he knew his makeup was running but he didn’t care.

He wanted to have a romantic scene out of a rom-com, and this was his chance. He pulled him in as his tongue asked for permission to invade Gerard’s mouth.

It was awkward, and definitely not what the movies made it out to be, but with Gerard it was so worth it and he was so turned on. ‘Let’s go back to my apartment,’ he whispered.

To Frank’s surprise, Gerard shook his head. ‘Let’s take it slow, please.’

Frank couldn’t help wondering why he might want to take it slow. For respect? Was he more conservative? Was he a virgin? He didn’t dare ask. ‘It’s fine. What do you want to do?’

‘You wanna go watch a movie?’

Frank smiled. The idea of such an innocent first date excited him.

They walked to a theater, and Frank got popcorn and Cokes for both. Gerard chose an action movie about aliens, and they held hands the whole time.

At least until Frank felt a hand in his crotch.

So that was what they were doing.

Frank dedicated the rest of the movie to suck the tender skin of Gerard’s neck, while he was giving him a handjob. It wasn’t the best one he’d got, but something about being Gerard made it so much better. It made him feel things inside.

They were supposed to be at work in a matter of hours, so Gerard walked him back home when the movie was over. ‘So – see you later at work?’ Frank asked, leaning his back on his door.

Gerard smiled. ‘Yup,’ he said, and kissed him.

Frank pulled him by his shirt, gasping for air. ‘Just remember no one can find out or they’ll fire us.’

‘No one would believe me I went on a date with the one and only Destroya, anyway.’

‘But I’m not Destroya. I’m Frank. Just Frank.’

‘And that’s way better than Destroya.’ They kissed again, for what seemed the longest time, before Frank walked in his apartment and Gerard left.


	3. Chapter 3

Saturday night and the place was packed.

When Frank made it to his dressing room, there was a rose waiting for him. This time with a note. _You’re beautiful. Thanks for the date, G_

It brought a smile to his face.

A smile he wore during his entire set. As soon as Womanizer started playing and Frank walked out, wearing lacey thongs and pink stilettos, more confident than ever, just dancing for the adorable boy behind the bar.

While he was spinning around the pole, he winked at Gerard, knowing he was making him blush.

They’d been going out for a week, mainly to the park and the movies, and Gerard still blushed every time Frank looked at him. But Frank knew that him dancing as Destroya made him especially nervous, and he loved that.

The set was over, and soon everyone in the audience was throwing Frank dollar bills, flowers and other gifts. He took a bow and ran to the back, grabbing his phone from the box where he left it, and immediately texted Gerard. _meet me in the back alley?_

It took him another minute to reply, giving Frank time to change into his chucks and put pants on. _Yeah._

Frank was already smoking when Gerard walked out. Frank didn’t even give him time to say anything, he just walked up to him and kiss him, his red lips staining Gerard’s. ‘I’ve been wanting to do that all day,’ he said with a sigh.

Gerard blushed. ‘What exactly?’

‘Kissing you. You’re so fucking irresistible.’ He kissed him again, biting his lower lip. He knew Gerard was sort of innocent, and that just turned him on more.

In the meantime, Gerard was hypnotized by Frank’s beauty. His eyes, big and hazel under that red eyeshadow that suited him so well. He pushed Frank’s sweaty hair back so he could see every little detail of his face. He still didn’t know how someone so beautiful could be into someone like him.

And he wanted to be with him, let him do whatever he wanted and take off his clothes and have sex with him. He wanted Frank to be his first.

But he was afraid Frank wouldn’t like him when he saw what was hiding under his shirt, his love handles and the scars that adorned them. He was sure Frank would be repulsed by them.

‘C’mon, let’s go,’ Frank whispered in his ear, and then pulled him by the arm, not giving him time to protest. They made it to the end of the alley, where Frank pushed Gerard to the wall and started kissing him. Gerard put his hands on Frank’s hips, and they didn’t move from there, afraid of going into places they shouldn’t be. But Frank took one of them, and moved it to his bulge, which was excited about Gerard. He left it there, making Frank moan.

They had to stop before they got too far, and Frank pulled his arm again, taking him across the street and around the corner to a snack joint where they sold cookies after midnight. He was almost skipping. They bought a dozen and a cup of ice cream, and sat outside to eat. 

‘You have ice cream right there,’ Gerard said, pointing at Frank’s mouth.

‘Oh, yeah? Where?’ He was obviously playing dumb.

‘Right here.’ And then Gerard licked the side of his mouth, and they were kissing again.

‘Damn, Gerard – you’re making it so hard to keep it slow. I just want to –’

‘What if I don’t want to take it slow anymore?’

‘Are you sure?’

Gerard nodded. He was still afraid of being naked in front of him, but there wasn’t anything he wanted more.

‘Let’s do something, okay?’ Frank said, taking his hand and locking his fingers between his. ‘Let’s take tonight slow. And tomorrow – let’s see what happens, okay?’

Gerard nodded.

‘I like this taking it slow, too.’ Without another word, he grabbed the bag of cookies and pulled Gerard by the arm again, and they were off, back to Poison. But they took another entrance that led them upstairs, straight to the rooftop.

It wasn’t a tall building, but they got a great view of the city. And more importantly, the view in front of Frank. The cute guy with the chubby cheeks and black hair that made him feel butterflies in his stomach.

They kissed for what seemed hours, under the stars and the moon, their bodies too close, vibrating with electricity. Just them, and the rest didn’t matter.


	4. Chapter 4

The good thing about Frank’s job was that he made enough money to not have to worry about having another job, like most people his age.

So he usually had the rest of the week for himself.

And now for his new boyfriend, Gerard.

He worked mornings at a comic store, and Frank thought about surprising him with lunch.

 _How long before you’re off?,_ he texted Gerard.

_I’m off @ 4_

_How is the store called again? Maybe we should go eat somewhere_

_Sounds good. It’s called “Paper Kingdom”_

_I’ll pick u up_

Frank was already in the neighborhood.

Only a couple blocks away, in fact. He stopped for bagels and some flowers, and walked to the comic book store. To say he was nervous was an understatement. He just wanted to make Gerard feel special, the same way he did to him.

When he made it there, he took a deep breath before walking in, but Gerard had already seen him standing outside the window, and ran to him, meeting him right by the door, and kissing him. ‘Hey you,’ he said, with a smile.

‘Hey, you.’ Gerard’s heart still stopped every time Frank smiled at him. He looked as beautiful without the makeup, maybe even more. Even with just a jean jacket over a black shirt, instead of his tights and crop tops. He had to kiss him again.

‘What are you doing here?’ he asked.

‘I thought about surprising you, so surprise!’

It wasn’t until then that Gerard noticed the flowers. ‘Are these for me?’ he said with a shy smile.

Frank nodded. ‘And I brought bagels, too.’

‘Bagels!’ Gerard pulled him closer for just one more kiss. ‘You’re the best boyfriend ever, you know?’

‘Funny, I thought that was you.’

After Gerard clocked out for his break, he met Frank outside again, and they sat on the bench to eat and talk about their day. A guy with a dog walked by with a dog, and Frank asked if he could pet it. After that they shared a cigarette because that was the only one they had, and held hands, and everything felt right.

‘I don’t want you to go,’ Gerard said when it was time to go back to work.

‘I don’t want to go either. But maybe we can do something later?’

‘Date night?’

Frank smiled at that and put his arms around his neck. ‘What are you thinking?’

‘I’ll pick you up at seven.’

They’d been to several dates by now, but this one seemed important. Frank was more nervous than usual, and he thought caused him stomachaches.

‘What do you think?’ he asked Jamia, modeling a black dress shirt with a flower pattern and tight jeans.

‘Love it!’ she said, excited about his roommate.

‘Wait,’ he said, and returned to the bathroom. Ten minutes later, he came out with full makeup. Red eyeshadow and long eyelashes.

‘Damn!’

When Gerard knocked the door, he ran to answer it. Gerard didn’t even know how to react, so Frank made it easy, and pressed his lips against his, getting a sigh in response. ‘You look great,’ Gerard said.

‘Thank you, you too.’

He didn’t even say bye to Jamia, and pushed Gerard out.

Gerard took him to a cute fancy restaurant just around the corner from Poison. It was all dark except for the candles that lit every table, and they were playing soft jazz music in the back of the room.

‘I love it,’ Frank admitted.

Gerard almost let out an _I love you,_ but stopped himself. Instead he started talking about the newest issue of some comic book, which Frank thought was endearing. He was falling in love with this nerd, and he liked the feeling inside. ‘I’m sorry,’ Gerard said. ‘I’m probably boring you.’

‘Not at all. You’re gonna get me into comics one of these days.’

‘Really?’

‘Absolutely! What do you recommend?’

And so Gerard started talking about comics again, while Frank listened attentively.

After dinner, they walked around the neighborhood, and Frank stole Gerard’s scarf, just to wear something of his.

He checked his phone just to make sure about the time, and saw a text from Jamia. _Good luck. I’m off to work._

‘So – you wanna come over to my place and listen to music or just talk?’ Frank asked.

To his surprise, Gerard nodded. So he took him up to his apartment.

Frank pulled him inside, still kissing him, and Gerard pulled from the scarf. ‘I don’t want to take it slow anymore,’ he said, and Frank just smiled. He’d been hoping he said that.

They went straight to his room, and made out for a while, Frank’s hair falling on Gerard’s face as their tongues explored each other’s throats, and Gerard’s hands brushing against Frank’s shirtless back. He wanted to tell him so much, but words failed him.

Instead, he played with Frank’s belt and then then the button. ‘Are you sure?’ Frank asked.

Gerard nodded.

Frank helped him with his clothes, and then kissed his collarbone as he straddled him. He loved the sounds he was making.

As he aligned himself with Gerard’s entrance, he looked up to him. ‘I know this is going to sound crazy, but I love you,’ he said, gasping, and then he was inside. ‘I love you,’ he repeated, feeling Gerard biting on his neck. He had never felt so close to someone. So in love.

‘I love you, too.’


	5. Chapter 5

Another night at Poison.

The usual crowd gathered, and Frank killed it as usual. And as usual, Gerard tried not to be too obvious and stare at him and how he could see his crotch through the lingerie. But Frank noticed, and winked at him.

And when Gerard finished his shift, Frank was outside waiting for him. ‘You wanna stay over at my place?’ he asked, and Gerard answered by pulling him to a corner where no one would see them, and kissed him.

Back at Frank’s apartment, clothes were off as soon as they entered his bedroom, and Gerard was surprised he was still wearing the lingerie under his jeans. ‘Surprise!’ Frank moaned already hard.

The next second, they were making out, Gerard on top of Frank, jerking him off, without taking off his panties.

Not long after, Gerard was fucking him from behind, pulling his hair. Frank liked that their relationship turned into this.

Though they still went out for dates, and Gerard convinced him to read comic books, which Frank genuinely loved. And Gerard would spend more and more time at Frank’s apartment. Just doing nothing. Jamia would sometimes join them to watch a movie.

Afternoons sitting on Gerard’s lap making up stories.

Frank never thought this was possible.

He didn’t think someone like Gerard existed, and he felt the luckiest motherfucker alive being the one he loved.

‘You guys are so adorable, it’s disgusting,’ Jamia said and walked out, going off to work.

And though they tried to hide it at work, sometimes it was impossible not to look at each other in the middle of Frank’s set, or steal kisses while taking a smoke break outside.

They had been lucky no one had seen them.

Until –

Frank’s boss, the owner of Poison saw them leaving together one night, holding hands.

He waited until the following day, and as soon as Frank arrived, he was called to the boss’ office. ‘You wanted to see me?’ Frank asked. He wasn’t even nervous. He had no idea they had been caught.

‘Sit down.’ Mr. Dewees was strict, and Frank was sure he had no heart. He was lucky his instructor got him the job back then, and that apparently he made them a lot of money, otherwise, he wouldn’t be there. ‘Can you explain to me what were you doing with that bartender kid?’

Frank didn’t know what to say. There was no point in denying it. If he was asking, he saw them.   
But the last thing he wanted was to get Gerard in trouble. And he didn’t know exactly what he meant. It could have been just a look, or a kiss.

‘I saw you leaving together last night. And it’s not the first time someone witness you being too close.’

Frank just nodded.

‘You know it’s strictly prohibited for employees to be involved with each other, especially our performers.’ For a second Frank thought about getting Gerard another job so they could be together, but he knew that was selfish of him. And it was too late now.

If he was fired, he had no choice but to accept his fate.

‘I’ll give you two options,’ Mr. Dewees said. ‘Either I fire him, or you get demoted from your position, and go back to main floor.’ Frank hated that. The only thing he liked about his job was performing. But everyone started on main floor, one of many dancers, up on a pedestal, with barely enough room to go around the pole. And men always got to close and touched him. The thought made his skin crawl. But he didn’t want Gerard to lose his job.

‘I’ll go back to main floor,’ Frank said.

‘I knew you’d say that. You start tonight.’

With losing his position as the star, he also lost his private dressing room. He shared a tiny room with two other strippers, who looked surprised to see him there.

He just wished he had had a drink, because he wasn’t sure he could do it sober.

He changed into the uniform – red panties and boots – and walked to the main floor. One of the security guards told him to take the pole at the very end, which he was thankful for because then Gerard wouldn’t see him.

Soon, he was surrounded by men, all just as disgusting, trying to grab his legs and back. They didn’t even give good tips.

Frank tried to focus on the song playing.

_They always told me that_ _  
"You never get to heaven"  
With a love like yours  
Well if you're lost little boy  
The cameras pull you right back down, yeah  
It's like a chemical burn_

He tried to tune out the rest, and just dance for himself, even though he didn’t have enough space to move around.

A few customers offered him drinks, which he gladly took, because he needed it.

Five hours later, he went home, with not even half the tips he usually made, and didn’t even wait for Gerard.

He got a text from him, asking what had happened. _I’m not feeling well,_ he replied after a while.

The next day, Frank didn’t even bother to call or text Gerard, nor the following day. The following Friday, he got a request for a private. He wasn’t Destroya anymore, he couldn’t say no. He had no choice but to go with the old man.

At least he was drunk enough.

On his way back, Gerard saw him, but Frank avoided him. He didn’t know how to explain that he was having the worst time of his life because they had been caught.

Frank wanted nothing more than to hug Gerard again and spending the night with him, instead of those men. But he didn’t dare to tell him what was happening.

The next day, he had two privates. He had completely forgotten how awful it felt.

He walked home, crying, wishing he could find another job so he could quit before his next shift. And just as he walked up to the door to his building, he noticed Gerard was waiting outside. ‘I just wanna know what’s –,’ Gerard saying, but stopped when he noticed Frank was crying. ‘What’s wrong?’

He couldn’t tell him. He just couldn’t. He knew he’d be disappointed in him. ‘I’m just – can you stay with me tonight?’ he asked, and buried himself in Gerard’s arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING *something that might be triggering happens at the end*

*TW//something that might be triggering for some happens in this chapter*

I Put a Spell On You was blasting on the speakers.

And Frank was already lost on the music, grinding himself on the pole. He was already drunk by the time he made it to work, but it was the only way.

His table was always crowded. There was a reason Destroya was a success. Frank's beauty was famous among the customers, and even though he wasn't the star of the show anymore, they were still there, trying to get a piece of him.

He felt their eyes on him, eating him alive. He had to fight the tears. All he wanted was to run out of there and never come back. That would make things easier.

He felt Gerard staring at him from the other side of the room. He knew he was disappointed in him, disappointed in the person he had become. But he couldn't understand his reasons. He was doing this for him, for them.

So Frank danced for him, knowing he was watching.

I put a spell on you

Because you're mine

Stop the things you do

Watch out, I ain't lying

He dedicated his performance to him, focused on Gerard. It was all for him, after all.

Gerard was the only thing that made sense, the only thing keeping him going. He just wished this version of him wouldn't scare him away, cause then he'd be lost.

He felt a hand cupping his crotch, bringing him back to the moment. The stranger in front of him kept touching him, and Frank wanted to kick him with his heels, put a hole right between his eyes, but he didn't want to get in trouble. So he just let him.

As soon as he got a break, he ran outside and threw up. His breath still tasted like tobacco and cum from his last customer.

He wanted to cry, but he would not let them see him like that.

'Are you okay?' he heard someone ask from behind. Gerard.

Frank didn't even turn around, and just took a cigarette out. 'Does it seem like I'm doing okay?' There was no response.

Then, Gerard was next to him. 'I just –'

'Don't you get it?' Frank interrupted. 'We can't be seen together! I'm doing this for us. Please, don't throw it all away because I'm already having the worst time of my life.'

Gerard didn't say anything. He didn't know what was happening. He had never seen Frank like this, and it was a little scary. 'What happened?'

'Just – meet me at my place later, okay?'

Gerard started walking away.

'Please,' Frank begged, and Gerard could swear he was crying.

***

Gerard was knocking on his door five minutes after he made it home, and he noticed Frank reeked of alcohol. 'You need a shower,' he said.

'No, I just need you.'

'C'mon.' He dragged him to the shower, and helped him clean off, and later cuddled with him in bed.

'I'm so sorry for being an asshole,' Frank mumbled, resting his head on Gerard's chest.

'You're not an asshole.'

'But I sure acted like one. I'm sorry.'

'It's okay. You wanna talk?'

'Not really.' He was tired, and he didn't really want to tell him how he had become Destroya. Some things were better kept private. 'I can handle it.'

'Just know that I'm here, okay?'

'Thank you.' And then, he fell asleep.

But as the days passed, Gerard noticed he got angrier and angrier, and he was drinking more. He knew there were things he was keeping to himself, but he didn't want to force him to tell him. But he noticed him disappearing from his table, and walking away with men.

He didn't want to believe it.

Had Frank got tired of him so soon? He knew he was boring, and Frank was so out of his league. But why did he choose to cheat on him, right there, in his face? Was he just trying to hurt him? Was Gerard just a game for him?

'He's back at it,' he heard his coworker Ray say.

'Huh?' Gerard asked, confused.

'Frank. He used to sleep around with customers a lot. It seems he's back at it.'

He'd noticed it too. Frank went in and out with different men, he was different lately.

Gerard clenched his fists, reminding himself not to punch him. It wasn't him he should be angry at. It was Frank.

He had never felt so hurt.

Frank was his first boyfriend. He knew it was too good to be true.

Once he finished closing, he crossed the corridor to the office to clock out, and went to the restroom before heading out. As soon as he walked in, he heard someone groaning and panting. People fucking in the stalls wasn’t exactly unusual.

He pretended he didn't hear, and washed his hands, when someone came out of the handicap stall.

Just one person.

He couldn't help turn around and notice he left the door open.

Someone was lying unconscious on the floor, panties pulled down to the knees.

No, not someone.

It was Frank.


	7. Chapter 7

‘Frank, wake up, please –,’ he whispered, already freaking out. But Frank was still unconscious.

Gerard had no idea what to do. Frank noticed he was still breathing, so that was good. He pulled up his underwear, and pulled him into his arms. ‘Please, Frankie, wake up.’ Tears were rolling down his eyes, praying that it wasn’t what he thought it was.

Not sure what to do, he called Jamia, knowing she was a nurse and because she was Frank’s best friend and she needed to know. ‘Gee?’ Jamia’s confused voice asked on the other line.

‘Jam.’ He tried to calm down, or he’d start crying again. He was glad Frank’s phone had died that one night so that he called her from Gerard’s phone, otherwise Gerard wouldn’t know who to call. 911?

‘Are you crying?’ she asked.

‘I –’ This wasn’t about him. ‘It’s Frank,’ he said, trying to recover his breath. ‘He’s –.’ He couldn’t dare to say it. ‘He’s unconscious. Something happened.’

‘ _What_ happened?’ She sounded worried. ‘Where are you?’

‘At work.’ Gerard couldn’t hold in the tears anymore. ‘Can you come pick us up?’

‘Give me ten minutes.’

‘Wake up, Frankie,’ he said as soon as he hung up the phone, and he could swear Frank was clutching tight to his shirt, not letting go. ‘You’ll be okay.’

Somehow, Gerard managed to carry Frank in his arms all the way to his dressing room. At least, everyone was gone by now. He just wanted to leave as soon as possible, and never come back. He put a pair of pants on Frank, and grabbed his stuff, before walking out.

And to his surprise, James was just outside in the corridor. ‘What the hell are you doing in the dressing rooms?’ he asked. ‘I thought I told your pretty boy he couldn’t date you anymore.’ He obviously hadn’t noticed Frank unconscious in his arms.

‘Don’t worry,’ Gerard replied, his voice angry. ‘I quit. And I’ll make sure he doesn’t come back either.’

‘As if I care.’

‘I know you don’t care. Just like you don’t care about your customers raping your employees in the restroom.’ And then he headed to the front door, where Jamia was already waiting for them. She looked at Frank, and then at Gerard, a questioning look on her face. ‘He was ra –’ But he couldn’t finish his sentence.

Jamia knew what he was trying to say, though. ‘Let’s get a cab. We’re taking him to the ER.’

‘Can we just go home?’ Frank mumbled out of nowhere, making both of them turn. He was still half unconscious, his arms around Gerard’s neck. ‘I just want to go home.’ And then he started sobbing in Gerard’s shoulder.

‘Sure, let’s go home,’ his boyfriend said, and then kissed his forehead.

Gerard helped Frank out of the cab, and up the stairs to the apartment.

No one said a word in the meantime.

Gerard got him into more comfortable clothes to sleep, and tucked him in. He was afraid to touch him, to be honest. He knew it was too soon, and even stroking his hair felt beyond boundaries.

Noticing he fell asleep right away, Gerard went to the living room and joined Jamia. ‘How is he?’ she asked.

‘He fell asleep.’ There was a pause. ‘Shouldn’t we go to the authorities, or get him checked out?’

She nodded. ‘He should get tested.’

‘I should have known,’ Gerard said. ‘It’s all my fault.’

‘What the fuck are you saying? If anything you saved him.’

He shook his head. He knew there was something wrong. Frank kept telling him he was going through shit but he never asked what he meant. And he saw him walking out with customers. What if this wasn’t the first time? And all this time he thought he was cheating on him. He was the worst boyfriend.

When he got in bed, Frank woke up and cuddle next to him. ‘I’m so sorry,’ Gerard tried to say.

‘I don’t want to talk about it, okay?’ Frank replied crying. ‘It hurts too much.’

‘Okay.’ He paused. ‘Can you promise me to go to the clinic tomorrow?’

He felt Frank nodding against his chest.

‘You keep saving me.’

‘And I’ll keep doing it.’

Frank took a deep breath, sobbing. ‘You should have told me, Frank,’ Gerard said. ‘You should have told me they caught us. I would have quit, and you wouldn’t be going through this.’

‘I know.’ There was a long silence. ‘Hold me, please.’ So Gerard put his arms around him, protecting him, which was what he intended to do from now on. ‘Just stay with me, okay?’ Frank pleaded.


	8. Chapter 8

It was just past noon, and Frank was still asleep.

Gerard called out at work to take care of him, and make sure he was okay. Jamia said he just needed more painkillers, but they both knew he needed the emotional support more than anything.

When Frank woke up, Gerard had tea ready for him, but all he wanted was for his boyfriend to cuddle next to him, hold him tight and keep him safe.

Gerard almost asked him how he was feeling, but he realized what a stupid question it was. So they just stayed like that for a while.

‘I was afraid to tell you,’ Frank said out of a sudden. Gerard just listened. ‘I didn’t want you to think of me that way. Think that I was selling my body. I’m not proud of it, either.’

‘I would never think that.’

‘I know. But still.’ He pulled apart, wiped off his tears, and looked at Gerard straight in the eye. ‘It just hurt too much, you know. I didn’t think I’d ever have to do it again.’ He paused. ‘I never told this to Jamia or anyone, but when I first started working there, they made me sleep with customers and I thought that was how you made it. I wanted to be on main stage, be one of them. and I thought that was the only way.’

Gerard wanted to stop him, it didn’t matter anymore.

Frank sobbed, just letting it all out. ‘Once I became Destroya, I thought it was over. I could finally refuse to sleep with anyone. Though the harassment never stopped. They all saw me as a piece of meat, but I just wanted to dance, to be free. Then you showed up, and you made me feel like I was more than that. No one had done that.’

Gerard kissed the tears off his face. Kissed every corner, and then lingered a little longer on his lips. ‘You _are_ more than that. You are caring, and so fucking smart, and funny, and beautiful.’

‘Don’t say that.’

‘But you are. And I’m not gonna get tired of telling you until you believe it.’

‘You’re a fucking angel, you know?’ Frank said, and then buried his face on Gerard’s neck. ‘Can we go to the clinic now and get it over with? I need a shower so bad.’

***

The way to the clinic was quiet.

Frank went it by himself, and told Gerard to wait outside. It was humiliating enough that he had to find him and see what that man did to him, he didn’t want him to be there when he told the doctor.

He didn’t get into details, but just told them he must have been drugged, because he doesn’t remember anything, and how they found him. ‘I know it’s hard,’ the doctor said. ‘But you can press charges.’

‘I’m – I don’t even remember his face. I just need to get tested, okay?’ He started to get angry, so he tried to calm down.

When they were out of the building, Gerard noticed his change in mood and tried to help the best he could. He cooked something for him while Frank took a shower, and cuddled with him.

But the next day he had to go back to work, and Frank was all by himself.

He tried to avoid everything, and sleep through the day until either Jamia or Gerard made it home. But his head wouldn’t shut up. He found a bottle of whiskey in the cabinets, and took it to his room. _It’s barely noon,_ he told himself. But who cared anymore?

When Gerard came home, he noticed the smell in Frank’s breath, but chose not to say anything. He understood, but he just hoped it wouldn’t turn into something bad.

The next couple days passed by just the same.

But Frank was tired of feeling like shit and lying in bed all day feeling sorry for himself. So he got up early and put on some clothes. ‘Where are you going?’ Gerard asked.

‘Well, it seems like I don’t have a job anymore, so – I need to get a new one.’ He didn’t even wait for his boyfriend to get up from bed, and walked out.

He asked around, filled a few applications on record stores, restaurants and even as a janitor at a hospital. He knew he had a degree he could use, but he wasn’t sure that was what he wanted, or that he’d get a job in that field.

He saw a sign outside the diner around the corner. _Hiring cook._ He walked in and asked about it, and five minutes later he had a job.

***

Frank’s uniform was just a white shirt with the logo on the back, and he had to tie his hair. And he smelled like fried food when he came home. It wasn’t as colorful and extravagant as his last one, but he at least felt safe, and maybe it was for the best.

A new beginning.

He would come home so tired, he’d pass out right away. Sometimes, he’d find Gerard already sleeping. He missed him so much. He wanted to kiss him and touch him. He wanted him inside him. But they had to wait for the results, and Frank didn’t know if he was even ready to be intimate again.

Sometimes he’d just had a few drinks, maybe a whole bottle of vodka, and then go to bed.

He wanted to be numb.

When Gerard asked him how he was doing, he just said he was fine. But Gerard knew he missed his old life. He missed dancing.

When he saw the ad for dance auditions, he knew Frank would be excited.

He took a flyer home, and when he arrived, he found Frank sleeping on the couch. By the smell, it was obvious he was drinking. And he also noticed the scruff on his face. He was still pretty as fuck, but Gerard noticed how he stopped shaving after what happened. He didn’t wear makeup anymore, and sometimes he didn’t even shower. He still loved this more _masculine_ version of him, heck, he loved him to pieces, but he wasn’t the same. He was sad.

And Gerard knew he had to help him get better.

‘Hey,’ Frank said when he opened his eyes and saw his boyfriend there. ‘How was work?’ Gerard had just gotten another job at a bookstore. It paid more than the comic book store, but it was at the mall so there were always kids running around and annoying people.

‘Meh – apparently people are starting their Christmas shopping already.’

There was a long silence. He wanted to mention the ad, but he knew Frank wasn’t in the mood, so they just stayed quiet. ‘I was thinking,’ he said. ‘A date? I can order Chinese food, and we can watch something.’ Frank smiled at the idea. ‘We can dress up all fancy and sit in the couch.’

Frank nodded.

‘C’mon, let’s take a shower.’ Frank knew that was the plan all along, but he didn’t complain. He let Gerard spoil him, wash his hair, and even shave him. Gerard changed into dress pants and a black shirt, and started ordering their dinner, while Frank changed.

When he came out wearing a fucking suit, all black with a red tie, looking stunning, Gerard almost dropped his phone. ‘You look beautiful,’ he said. ‘Wait here –’

Frank sat, while he went to the bathroom and came back with his makeup bag. ‘It’s okay?’ Frank nodded.

So Gerard did his makeup. The best he could. Frank had to fix a little here and there. But when he looked himself in the mirror, tears built up. He missed it.

‘You’re gonna ruin your mascara,’ Gerard said.

‘Thank you,’ he whispered, and pressed a kiss on his lips.

‘You don’t have to thank me. I just tried to help you feel better.’

‘You did.’ They kissed again, moving back to the couch. It was very tender. Clothes on, and Gerard kept his hands on Frank’s face, and focused on kissing him. He ended up with lipstick all over his face. ‘You’re so fucking sexy.’

‘No – Don’t call me sexy –,’ Frank begged. ‘Please.’

He understood. It hurt to see him like this but he knew they had to work on it for a while.

They kissed until they heard the knock on the door, and Gerard went to get it. The delivery boy gave him a smile when he saw the lipstick on his face, and left.

They watched movies until late at night, and cuddled on the couch.

‘I miss performing,’ Frank said, almost like he didn’t realize he was talking out loud.

‘I know. You should do it again.’

‘But –’

‘You don’t have to – you know. There are dance groups. We can do some research.’ Then he reached for the piece of paper he left next to his keys on the end table, and handed it to Frank. ‘Someone put this ad at work today. I thought you might be interested.

Frank took it and read it. Several times.

Gerard noticed his hands were shaking, and he was about to cry. ‘It’s okay if it’s too much, and you don’t wanna try it. We can start small.’

‘Thank you,’ he said, and kissed him.


	9. Chapter 9

‘Honey! You’re gonna be late!’

‘I’m coming!’ Frank yelled from the bedroom. A second later he came out wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. ‘I couldn’t find clean socks.’

‘First of all – damn! You look hot!’ That made Frank blush, as he came closer to hug his boyfriend. ‘Second of all, babe, it’s okay to use mismatched socks. Nobody cares.’ Gerard knew how much he hated that, there was a reason why socks came in pairs, Frank always argued.

‘I care.’

Gerard handed him his to-go coffee, and a sandwich he made for him. ‘Good luck on your first day.’

‘Thank you.’

Frank barely made it to the train that would take it to the city to his first day of rehearsals.

He got a part in a cabaret show off Broadway.

He didn’t know how it happened, but after many unsuccessful auditions, he finally got one. It took him months, and taking more dancing lessons.

He tried not to think about it, or he’d start crying in the middle of the train.

It had taken him a while, a lot of work to get better. Getting back to dancing helped, even though it was different than pole dancing, which had got him into it in the first place. But he discovered what he was capable of, that he actually had a talent and enjoyed it a lot. He remembered being a teenager and wanting to be a musician, play guitar in front of people. He never thought he’d end up becoming a pole dancer and then in a cabaret.

But life worked in funny ways, he thought.

It was performing after all.

And he had to admit, Gerard had a lot to do in his getting better. He encouraged him to see a therapist, and was there every night when he felt like shit. He encouraged his dream, and took care of him. Gerard was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he was glad he’d met him.

When he made it to the dance studio, in the cold streets of New York, he got ready, and joined the rest of the cast as the director and crew welcomed them. Everyone introduced themselves, and Frank couldn’t stop smiling the whole time.

They practiced for hours that day, until mid afternoon, and Frank made it home just in time for dinner. ‘How was it?’ Gerard asked first thing as he walked in.

‘Exhausting.’ Gerard pulled him closer for a kiss. ‘I’m gross, let me take a shower first.’ They had dinner, and then loud sex as a thank you for supporting Frank’s dream. Then, the next day they did everything again, and again.

By the end of the week, they announced the parts everyone would be playing. It was an original show, and the director said they needed to see everyone’s skills and personalities. Frank would be playing Ulyses, the non-binary emcee of a traveling circus where the main character ended up after dying, and basically the second most important character. ‘We knew it the second you auditioned for us,’ the director told him. ‘You’re just perfect to play Ulyses.’

And Frank loved every bit of it. Wearing lingerie and platforms always made him feel beautiful and confident, and he had many singing parts.

It was a few couple months of nonstop rehearsing, taking his body to the limit, but he only got better and better. He was excited.

***

‘You can’t sleep?’ Gerard asked, seeing his boyfriend lying awake. It was the night before of the first show.

Frank just shook his head. ‘I just – I’m happy.’

‘I’m glad.’

He turned to Gerard and took his hand, looking at him. ‘Thank you. For everything.’ His boyfriend smiled at him. ‘But especially for not stopping until I got my ass off and got my shit together. It really worked.’

‘I knew what you were capable of.’ He kissed his lips gently, his hands running down his back. ‘And I missed seeing you in tights and women lingerie.’

‘You know you could just ask, right?’

‘I know – but I wanted to see you living your dream.’

‘Thank you for that.’ There was a second or two of silence while they just looked at each other, smiling. Frank was doing everything he could not to cry. ‘I’m so fucking nervous.’

‘You’ll do great.’

‘You think so?’

‘I know so.’

***

When the lights went dim, and a single piano key was heard, Frank walked down the stage wearing a black Victorian dress and holding a bouquet of red roses, singing a song welcoming everyone to the show.

Gerard smiled proudly from his seat in the first row.

With every song, Frank’s character would change outfits, going from fishnets and a corset to an all-black suit. And he looked beautiful in each one of them.

Gerard was genuinely surprised by his acting skills. He knew he could dance and sing like no one, but he could also act!

On the last number Frank was wearing a white suit with black tie, and was covered in fake blood, singing about blood and welcoming a new character to the afterlife.

After changing into normal clothes, and cleaning all the fake blood off his face, he put on some makeup, and went out to thank everyone. 

And Gerard was there, waiting for him, holding a single rose, just like that day outside Poison. ‘You’re gonna make me ruin my makeup,’ he said trying not to cry.

‘You did absolutely great,’ Gerard told him, leaning his forehead against Frank’s. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

‘I’m here thanks to you.’

‘You did all this yourself.’

They kissed, before they had to take Frank away to talk to promoters and everyone who wanted to congratulate him. They were all surprised to learn he was a simple New Jersey guy with no training in musical theater, and he just mentioned he did lots of dancing without getting into detail. Some people told him he had a lot of promise and they were sure the show would do great and that he’d get a lot more roles because of it. Frank hoped so, because he had never been so happy.

At some point, Jamia and his parents showed up and told him how proud they were.

On their way back home, Gerard and Frank held hand and made plans to move to New York, and get another dog, and maybe one day get married.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


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